I've decided to take a leaf out of IOYC's book, and turn my interstate jaunt into a proper, no-holds-barred, no beg-your-pardons Fact Finding Mission in the interests of Journalism, Truth, Objectivity, et al.

While the details are still being compiled, facts checked and connections made, leads followed up, and the Institute's legal department is making the relevant phone calls, threats, bribes, jacuzzi visits, I'm holed up here in my temporary Sydney apartment doing heinous amounts of cocaine and having sex with lingerie models reading something long and ponderous... Russian, even... Chekov, or Tarkovsky, or Nureyev or something... oh, wait a minute.. never mind.

The details of how my 12 day interstate bike jaunt got reduced to a couple of days are long and complex, all I can say for the moment (until relevant legal clearance is made) is that it involves a cow, a bankrupt Basketball team manager, three midgets and someone in a gondola.

Anyhoo, here are some tantalising tidbits of the rollercoaster ride endured so far by my hardworking staff.

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  Wide open spaces, empty roads, dust, drunk guys in utes at 11am...
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  A resident of Katamatite, the Goulburn Valley's capital of [DELETED BY LEGAL].
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  ! indeed.
  
  I mean, it's like, sealed.
  
  And stuff.

Anyway...